The foetus returns

What a shame Tony Banks was not alive to see William Hague return to the place How Ridiculous has always most admired him: at the Despatch Box asking questions of The Prime Minister.

Below are some extracts.

Mr. William Hague (Richmond, Yorks) (Con): I thank the Prime Minister for his good wishes to my right hon. Friend the Member for Witney (Mr. Cameron) and his family, which I will convey to him.

For the first time in history at Question Time, all three parties are represented by a stand-in for the real leader.

Mr Hague: It is the opinion of all decent lawyers—the Prime Minister should ask one; he probably has one at home—that the Lords amendment that we support covers more than written statements.

The Prime Minister: I am sorry but, as ever with the right hon. Gentleman, the jokes are good but the judgment less so.

Mr. Hague: When the Deputy Prime Minister said of local government last week

“if you want to have a unitary then you can have a ballot, discuss it with the people, but if you want it, fine”,

what exactly did he mean?

The Prime Minister: I think it is very, very clear. I am just surprised that the right hon. Gentleman cannot follow it.

Mr. Hague: I know it is a long time since I have asked the Prime Minister questions, but it seems even longer since we had an answer. Can he not now experience a deathbed conversion to democracy, as the Chancellor asked me to call it, and ensure that the people are listened to, that if they wish to retain their existing local government structures, they are allowed to do so, and that they are given an opportunity to end the drift to regional government that is unelected, unaccountable and utterly unwanted?

The Prime Minister: There is no need for a conversion to democracy in my case. I remember that the right hon. Gentleman and I stood in a democratic election in 2001, and I also remember the result.