The Thames whale - the people mourn

How Ridiculous wonders how long it will be before we have a statement from The Prime Minister on the passing of what he might call 'the people's whale'.

Simultaneously, the Union Flag will be lowered to half-mast at Buckingham Palace.

Members of the Royal Family will be despatched to thank the emergency services for their endeavours.

A Minister for Whale Grieving will be appointed to coordinate a central response to the outpouring of grief.

An announcement will come from Conservative Central Office that all Shadow Cabinet members have purchased copies of 'Whale Rider'.

The two-minutes' silence will ensue, with those in London requested to line The Thames.

The culmination will be a National Service of Remembrance and Thanksgiving at St Paul's Cathedral. Sea shanties will be sung and an extract from an especially reinterprered 'Moby Dick' will be read. Sensitised scenes from Pinocchio will be shown on the screens erected around the Cathedral for those hundreds of thousands not able to get a seat inside.

That said, it is terribly sad news. How Ridiculous watched lots of the coverage yesterday and has received regular text and voice mail updates during the day.